Is it even possible to fail anymore?
Every life experience is reframed to make it acceptable and easier to digest.
Failures are not failures, they are learning experiences.
That painful stage of life, a formative experience.
Those mistakes you made, learning.
The times you spent in a negative environment, character building.
That time you made a cringey speech? Authenticity.
That time you overshared? Vulnerability.
That time you didn't leave the house for a month? Cocooning.
That time you tripped and fell? A gravity enhanced experience.
Dance like no one is watching, because no one is, they're too busy looking at their phone... except that one guy who's filming you, hoping it will go viral.
How many people do you have to step over in order to live your best life?
When does adversity become toxic?
When are you using stoicism to gaslight yourself into staying and coping with a poisonous environment?
Are you really being brave in the face of adversity or are you scared to make a change?
I have a friend who stays where he is. He was sought out by a recruiter, who offered him a job with a lot more money. He told his boss, and they matched it. He decided to stay. Better to dance with the devil you know, he told me.
"We're too comfortable," I was told in a course.
Our lives are too comfortable, we need to seek out challenges, and places where we are challenged. Continuously challenged.
I have to say that I’m done with all that. It’s not that I won’t challenge myself physically and mentally anymore, but I have to be able to tolerate the challenge, or else there is complete and total collapse. And that, my friends, is true failure.
Failure to understand your limits.
Failure to set boundaries.
Failure to commit to yourself.
Failure to have compassion for yourself and others.
In order to accept discomfort, we need a solid base. A strong foundation from which to take risks and accept discomfort. When your baseline is unease, discomfort and dysregulation, seeking out an even keel before beginning is necessary and moves the starting line further and further away. We don't all wake up on the same side of the bed every day.
I often think about growth in terms of plants and gardening these days.
Where do you choose to plant yourself? In an adverse environment, desert-like and void of water? Or in fertile soil, in a climate where it rains just enough, where you are nurtured and can grow?
This is a big topic, that I'm not sure I have thought through entirely. But I felt the need to write and share my thoughts.
So to be continued till the next time it keeps me up at night.
The best conclusion I have today:
Choose your challenges wisely.
let's be careful out there.